Many people struggle to build their own self-care routine because there is very little information on how humans behave. People think tackling stress is as easy as just saying that we need “willpower” in order to remain successful.
However, they are ignoring the fact that building a routine is much harder than they think it is. They may stay successful the first week but may struggle to maintain those behaviors in the long term.
I came up with a routine that I have tried with other people in my life and it has proven to be helpful for them. It requires a combination of preparation, experimentation, taking action, and long-term maintenance. Notice how taking action is the third part of this whole strategy.
No one should be deciding one day that they want to build a self-care habit without planning. I will concede that some people are able to do this, but it does not work for the majority of people. Everyone is different and they need to find the routine that works for them.
Here is how I helped others build a self-care routine.
1. Prepare
Starting any self-care routine without preparing is like skydiving without a parachute. I recommend everyone to always take time to think about how they want to care for themselves before doing it. This is the best time to compile a list of all the self-care activities you have always wanted to try out.
I challenge everyone to sit down and give yourself about five minutes and write down all the ideas that come to mind. There’s no need to get everything down, but you want to have a few ideas down. You can always add later on.
After writing down your ideas, think about some of the pros and benefits of each activity and write it down next to each of them. These pros and benefits can help us identify some of the ways this fits within our lives.
After writing down some of the benefits, write down some of the concerns you may have next to each idea. It could be the time commitment, the financial costs, or the distance away from the activity. These are all factors we need to decide in our lives.
We want to be as realistic with all of these ideas. For example, hiking in a state park may be a great idea for a self-care routine. However, if we live an hour away from the nearest state park, it can make it difficult to make this fit within our lives.
2. Experiment
This is the stage where you should feel comfortable trying out different ideas you have always wanted to do. There is no such thing as a failure because you are learning from what has not worked and applied it to the ideas that do work.
Look at the list that you have created. Choose one self-care activity off your list and try it out. Find out where it fits in your life and how often you want to use it. It is okay if an idea does not work out. That means you are one step closer towards finding what works for you. You are still figuring out what works best for you. Keep track of what has worked for you and what has not.
3. Take Action
Pick a day and time when you want to take action on ONE activity. We want to ease these activities into your life. Nothing breaks confidence like taking on too many at once and expecting everything to work the first time.
When you feel comfortable with that one activity in your life, consider adding another self-care idea off your list into your routine. The key strategy is to take it one step at a time and celebrate the small wins. Small wins can eventually snowball into larger goal successes.
4. Maintenance
Once these activities have been part of your life for a few weeks, you are in the maintenance stage. This is the stage where you need to be vigilant and stick with your self-care routine. There will be strong cravings to revert back to old habits, but you should call it out. Acknowledging these small challenges makes you more mindful the next time you feel like breaking your routine.
You may even slip up once in a while and that is okay. It is normal for everyone to go through this stage and you should not feel disheartened. Find a time where this idea may work for you again.
If you enjoyed this article on how to build a self-care routine or have any questions, please feel free to leave them in the comment section below!
Wen is a Certified Health and Wellness Coach who helped people change their behaviors. He brings experience from educating people about their physical health, nutrition, sexual health, and substance use. As a coach, he has worked with over one hundred clients in changing their tobacco use and had over five hundred conversations as a crisis counselor.
